I guess I am just not what I use to be....I use to be able to blow off so much. If I got hurt, I would brush off the dirt...get up and start running again. This sucks...Not this time. I am starting to annoy myself - - I fucking hate to cry like a baby....And over a boy.
Had a couple hours drive back from the dinner party tonight...A couple of hours to sing, be alone and think...Too Much.
So what was the ending thought as I drove through this cold night?
I want a man who isn't afraid of loving, romance, holding hands, spontaneous love making, kisses in the rain, just stopping by to say "Hi", trusting another, being with a woman....romance is not bad - - - even a bad paperbook novel romance. And I would much rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with boys who cannot handle real relationships and treat a good woman right. It feels better to be alone and to love, care and respect yourself....than to be in love with someone that never could or would care or respect or love you...Or have enough confidence to show that they actually did feel any of those....
So here is a Christmas present to myself....
I love me and care about me...
And I will wait for what is best for me and what I can give to someone who deserves it - - a.k.a: Someone who can also give it back to me....
....Real love.
It's not that I haven't ever felt real love - - - I really have loved and never stopped loving anyone I have ever said it to - Ever....Because that is what real love is.......
Unfortunately, too many souls just don't get it....And the word incites fear instead of it's true meaning....
Sad.
Well....
Here is to the New Year....
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