i lost "you"

for years we were friends

for years we were lovers

we shared our lives

our hopes and wishes
our dreams and desires
our ideas and ideals
our random thoughts

we lived together
we traveled together
we studied together
we explored together

but the darkness set in with you

an anger began to stir

your depression became unbearable

and the rage was unacceptable

where did "you" go?

why did "you" go?

i am heart broken that i lost that "you"

but i can not stay here after...

the yelling from you became a daily event...
when you were around...
or awake

your insults crushed my ego

your accusations were unfounded

when you pushed me it hurt...
and left marks on my arms

when you wrapped your hands around my throat...
and tried to end it in the worst way...
i did die a little

and when you screamed at me as i held our child in my arms...
rushing for the door to leave...
that you wished we would crash and die

i knew that "you" were gone

and nothing would ever bring me back

.....