After my hour of midnight yoga last night...I still couldn't sleep. What to do next? I read the rest of my new book. Then I came to the conclusion that my speed reading is getting the best of my pocket book. I think I need to stick with e-reading...a lot cheaper. More books = more book shelves = more space needed....besides the going rate of a good hardcover, (I try to stay away from paperbacks). I went on to one of my oldies, which is beaten and falling apart from all of the re-reads...Pride and Prejudice.
Just into to the first section, I put the book down and began thinking of a few good conversations I have had lately....and drifted off to sleep.
The differences between men and women….
The whole line of conversations began with my friend Ben....he tells me I am different than other women. I use to take offense in comments like this in which I have heard from all of them and over the many years…I don’t take offense anymore. I have accepted the fact that I am different. I have scared many men away with my way of thinking, living, and being. Once facts that my ex gloated about and all of his friends [still] adore: My independence, free will to be me and not bow to the stereotypically female whims, my need of no one but me, myself and I to make me happy, and my overly male dominant tendencies.
This line of talk keeps leading to that subject. Men vs. Women.
I don’t believe that there should ever be a “versus” in between. Even though there are so many differences between, I think that we need to work together. Both need to be more compromising to the other sex’s needs, traits, and just plain being. Play off of the positives of each other instead of bringing down each other with the negatives. How often that is overlooked in our lives and relationships…as well as accepting our own flaws and making ourselves as men and women – better.
So here is Ben: An incredibly intelligent man who has degrees and decades of experience with engineering (chemical/medical/bio/you name it)...has travelled the world, who is also sweet, gentle, caring but physically strong and healthy as well...believes that the Mars vs. Venus comment is so right on with men and women. Discussions with Mike, who is so much the same as Ben in many ways, have lead to the same point. We agree on this point. We may share the same planet, air, and day to day interactions...but in all reality it is a wonder with the way we have been headed in the course of history and societies that the two sexes can co-exist for anything other than mating; only gratifying sexual needs so to say, if that at all. There are those rare cases though, where they can co-exist these days, for long periods of time and that there is so to say a break in the barrier of the traditional roles, inherent roles....Not talking about transgender or homosexuality issues here. Discussing a breakdown of the basic man = hunter-gatherer, provider, leader, dominant and woman = nurturing, care giving, passive, creating. We can't deny it. They are still there, no matter how much we try to deny it. But there is an understanding that is present and a compromise is born between the man and woman who get it and make it work…co-exist the right way. The compromise to accept each other and share…not only share their lives but responsibilities and roles, as well.
I do this on a regular basis with my male friends…co-species….LOL…Yes! Co-exist and do so peacefully and respectfully. I just love being around them so much more than women. And NO, not as love interests....
Yes, they know, as well as my few girlfriends. I much rather enjoy the company of men than chatty gossiping women. The women friends that I choose tend to not be your stereotypical women, in most aspects. I hate the flighty ways and nonsense that tends to come up in a room full of women. It is bothersome. I would rather blog anonymously than to drag out the “feelings” issues in a room full of catty women. Yes, we women tend to be conniving and over in tuned with too many “feelings” (thanks Stella)...that is why a navy ship full of women was allowed to return to port when "cat" fights broke out - without repercussions. I don’t think it is right…but the obvious is the obvious. Until women give up their catty and over emotional ways they will not be able to co-exist even with each other…nor will they be able to do very well with men…the brotherhood of males…or be true leaders. That is why we tend to look to the man to lead, still. The men that I love to surround myself with are not only strong physically, but intellectually as well. Better and more stimulating conversation. Not only does Kevin notice, Eric always has as well. I have always admired him and his gift for all arts. I feel bad that he has been thrown into the family business, since his gifts of writing, speaking, IT and his ability to pick up anything and be an expert in no time flat has always impressed me and are so overwhelming. Eric - yes you are still my "Big-Kid Brother" – has a soft heart, but a strong spirit….Ah…And then there is a man that I know who is a true leader. He has the…well Tony Stark spirit. But we will leave those praises alone, since some of my friends like to stay anonymous as well and I think of him in a whole different ballpark than my just friends.
Now Kelly and I have discussed this many of nights...Both of our ways of being such boys, even though we are such girls. We have agreed that we both do the mom thing to perfection, but we have that hunter/leader thing that drives us not to be "soccer moms" but to greater causes and to be a little bit of boys. No, we are not into girls - quite the opposite. And that is where I have had to learn some self control. I was a dog way back in the day before I got pinned down by the “a wreck” I call my past marriage. I married an intelligent man...handsome back in the day... who loved many things that I did….but in the end just couldn’t handle me and tried like ever to literally beat me down. Now I don’t have to answer to him and I can be there for the men that I care for…
Yes, without the attachment of getting hurt again. Thank you – Joe for the reminder that that is what I really am trying to accomplish. I have been hurt too much and I am trying to understand and hang around good men...So I will be a boy about it…and stay distant from the real relationships. Work on me and for me. Can’t take any chances with men again in that way. I enjoy them too much to be bitter about one…not so nice one or two.
Side tracking there…but I don’t call this midnight rambling for nothing…
But I think all the boys I know should get together…they are all wonderful and gifted….and on the right track…and I think that the group of them could make some incredible changes – if they only all knew each other. Hmmm….I should introduce the lot and let the great minds take over…
Hunter, Gathers, Leader,
And all have a bit of rebellion brewing in them.
And all I have ever wished for from men...All I wanted was...was that I would have had just one man who really loved me in this life.
Damn
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