Spring Iris: Farewell 2010

Here is to 2011......

2010 was.......

Interesting.

Things ended. Things began. Some things still went nowhere. Somethings left me dreaming come New Years Eve as I closed my eyes. Some things brought bright shiny horizons. Then others left my heart pulverized.

It was a year.......full of a bit of drama, passion, sex, grief, relief, sadness, happiness, and...........

........finally finding myself at the stroke of midnite.

I know where I have been. I know where I plan to go. I know what I want. And most importantly.........

I know who I am and what I have in my future.

...Which is a hell of a lot if I only allow it.

And I will.

So on {maybe} a lighter note, here are a few tunes I loved this year. Not all, if any, from 2010. Just a few which I loved, dedicated to others, thought about those whom I love, were dedicated to me, or I just had an awesome run to {when I found my spirit again}.

....Oh.....We will keep Bad Romance outta this post......

{soulmates.........do we have them? I thought so.......but I am starting to change my mind.}

{a bitter moment. I had a few men in 2010 who thought that it was A-Ok just to treat me like a toy and dangle "possibilities" in front of my face.....all to leave me for an ex or something a little younger.....AND all of them really meanly - just dropped off the face of the earth kinda-things.....it really hurts a soul and is soooo mean to do that to a girl. Not one of them....Not a single one apologized. left me with a real fuck you taste in my tongue that was dying to roll out at every man. bitter for a moment or three.}

{......so I will raise my glass......and toast me!}

{yes.......another P!nk......It fit the moment or three...........and me!}

{that's my guitar!! when I saw this video...I was soooo....excited in soooo many ways!! ok....TMI! but lusting is good for the soul....really it is!! those moments when life gets you down...just keep lusting! a hot fantasy can keep you smiling all day!}

{this tune...and part II.....helped me get thru the last questions that I had about doing the right thing a couple of years ago.........YES I DID! AND I don't regret moving on....and on my own. leaving my life with the ex was the best thing for me....mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.}

{a little dali........and I have been left so speechless so many days. mostly the day Levi came back to tell me that he just wasn't ready yet. after....after??? what? he pursued me for months and when my heart ws finally ready to dive back in after Ben had just up and dropped me because he wasn't ready yet...and Sean calling me one day because he wasn't ready yet....and hearing from Carl that he wasn't ready yet, time and again througout the last 2 years.....Damn! I was left speechless. just fucking speechless.......Ready for what, guys??? Ready for me. I don't need a man around every single day....I don't need them to call me every day....I don't need them to rescue me - I did that on my own.....I won't treat them like shit and I stand behind the man in my life and listen to them and comfort them........Other men look at me when I enter the room, flirt and smile - and I do smile back, just because I think a smile brightens everyone's day - which I have been told makes me intimidating - I get it! but what none of them understands is that under all of what you see on the exterior is ME - a girl with a heart and soul who just wanted to be loved. now it is too late. been left speechless too many times and the door is shut - i stopped believing in fairytales last year, happy endings of romance, soulmates and true love. it doesn't exist and there is no one out there for me. period.}

{luv this the most..........if I had space enough right here, I would list all of Norah's stuff............but this one says enough.....and keeps me pondering........}

{ah............yes..........a little katy. Wouldn't be 2010 for me without this one....for me...........}

{.......................thanks for the dedication............I know who he is......always have....but wild horses have kept him far away.....and I am afraid that is just exactly where he will stay.....far away and "never ready". I chose him, again....He just didn't get it.....and yet again he chose not to take the prize........no matter if he said it was mine to make, over and over. ...this time my heart just finally had to let go......I don't do repeated rejection and this left me feeling really numb and not good about myself. I am worth more than being last place.....So I will just be a friend on the fringes and alone....the way it is meant to be.}